Secure and safe

   I was immediately touched as I passed the scene pictured below. The plant, small bush, or whatever it is, looked so small and frail, yet still contented, nestled there in that log.

   To feel assured against the generalized  threat I usually perceive as I negotiate the world has, for as long as I can remember, been at the core of my existence. Unfortunately, the sense of having a safe place from which to venture forth has for me has consistently been lacking.

   Although I'm certain that it is not possible to just give up the consciousness that I have possessed for as long as I have been a human being, I must admit that there is something alluring about the crevice that this patch of green has managed to procure for itself. To my perhaps all-too-human view, it looks protected and at home. How great it must be to have that sensation consistently.

Elements

   For at least three decades, I have been drawn to art that I can plainly see how it was constructed to create it's form. I believe that it is generally necessary to use a minimalist approach to make this apparent, and probably not coincidentally, I have for roughly the same amount of time been moved more often by minimalist art than others.

   My father was interested in collage in his own artworks, and he exposed me to artists like Jasper Johns, who was both minimalist and employing different collage techniques. In much of his work, it is plain to see the work as made up of different elements, and his work, much more so I believe than my father's input, influenced my direction.

   A few days ago, it occurred to me that I could choose to view myself and my environment as comprising a kind of static piece of art. I thought that this could be beautiful, and perhaps shift my life out of what sometimes feels like a battle for space and relevance. I wondered; if everything is an element in a picture or film or poem, how could I posit any one one thing as somehow having more relevance than any other? It seemed like an equalizing outlook, one that might offer me some comfort and reassurance.

   I tried remembering this new philosophy of mine while navigating the world, but found it a bit more challenging than I had imagined. I still tend to overthink my place and importance, to the detriment of my emotional well being and sense of peace. Still, I'm pretty certain that if I continue to be mindful, it could help curb the tendency I have to see some things (especially certain people, and frequently me) as "not belonging".

   My ability to see the world as made up of things that are related, but neither dominant or dominated, is made easier by my morning walks in Golden Gate Park, when I am a bit more well rested, and make it a point when there to see the world in a more wondrous, open way. Many times, I see combinations of fallen leaves, twigs, and garbage on the ground in ways that they seem like they must have been intentionally placed, though I cannot imagine when or by whom. Seeing these things helps me.

   Many times, I take pictures of these occurrences, and send them via text message to my wife, who often responds by inquiring if I have arranged them. Her questioning helps me to question more, too.